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@Versatileer Welcomes the Pity Party by Whitney Dineen #BookBlitz + 2x $25 Amazon Gift Cards #Giveaway
@XpressoTours Blog Tours – September 26th to September 30th
Blitz-wide giveaway (INT), 18+ – October 4, 2023

Pity Party by Whitney Dineen

Book & Author Details:
Pity Party by Whitney Dineen
(Pity Series, #2)
Publication date: September 26th 2023
Genres: AdultComedyContemporaryRomance
Provided by Xpresso Book Tours



I should have used my college degree to become a lawyer, politician, or heck, even a Time Lord—hey, it worked for Dr. Who. But no, I had to own a bridal boutique. Turns out that’s a terrible idea for someone with my lousy dating history.

Every day, I’m surrounded by the trappings of the perfect wedding, and I’m starting to resent all the smug almost-marrieds. I shouldn’t want to throat punch the brides, right?

Then Jamie Riordan moves to Elk Lake with his twelve-year-old daughter. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy—tall, gorgeous, successful, and clearly devoted to his kid.

Too bad his grumpy highness wants nothing to do with me.

I may not be his dream girl, but does he have to be so insulting about letting me know?

Goodreads / Amazon


Author Bio:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram



“Your total is two thousand forty-eight dollars,” I tell the beaming bride-to-be whos nearly blinding me with her over-the-top white teeth. Shes like Ross Geller from that one episode of Friends.

I used to dream of being just like her—hopeful, excited, no visible baby bump while planning my impending nuptials. Unfortunately, life has kicked me in the teeth often enough that Im slowly stepping away from that fantasy. Instead, Im focusing on the fact that women like her are probably more stressed out than your average sky diver during a tornado. Will he say yes? Does his mother hate me as much as I think she does? Should we really be spending this kind of money on one party? And the most important—Does he know I was serious when I said I dont clean toilets? The list goes on and on.

Youre the best, Melissa!” the petite blonde with the unnatural orange tan gushes. She says this like I just brought her bail money at two in the morning. As she hands me her credit card, she adds, You must love owning a bridal shop! I mean, could there be a better job?”

I didnt think so ten years ago when I became my moms partner at Brides Paradise.  I had recently graduated from college and was so full of hope and anticipation about my own wedding I couldnt imagine anything better. Not that I was engaged or even dating anyone at the time, but I was raised on television shows like Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezilla, and David TuteraMy Fair Wedding. Id fantasized about my big day for over a decade at that point. 

For a generation that is meant to believe theres more to life than marriage, we sure spend a lot of time dreaming about it. Being fed a constant visual diet of what our big day is supposed to look like wreaks havoc with expectations. Somehow a wedding has become more about the show and what we wear than about true love.

Had I only gotten hooked on Law and Order or Dr. Who, I might have become a lawyer or even a Time Lord. Note to self: investigate the kind of credentials needed to become a Time Lord.

I hand the credit card back to Brooklyn as her wedding party circles around her. Her maid of honor squeals—loudly—“Oh, my GOD, Brook! This is it!! You said yes to the dress!” Weve already taken pictures with the requisite signage and hashtags to ensure that everyone the bride has ever met will know where she bought her gown. Hashtags are the backbone of my business. #BridesParadise #ElkLakeWisconsinWeddings #LoveIsInTheAir #ImSoSickOfMyJobICouldSpit




Jamie turns around and lowers his legs through the opening in the floor. Once his head disappears, I make my move to join him. Give me a minute,” he calls out, causing me to halt. After a few seconds he adds, Okay, come on down.”

I scoot through the opening and situate my feet on the ladder. I quickly descend three steps before pushing back to jump down like we used to do when we were kids. Unfortunately, Jamie is standing so close to the ladder that when I jump, I land right on top of him. We go down like a demolished building. 

After the inevitable crash, I demand, Why were you standing so close to the ladder?”

I was holding it for you so that it didnt tip over on you.” He sounds as annoyed as I am. 

It cant fall,” I tell him. Its attached to hooks in the concrete.”

How was I supposed to know that?”

I dont know, by using your eyes?” I shift to push myself up onto my elbows. Jamie does not make for the softest landing. As my body moves across his, he releases a pained groan. Are you hurt?” Im guessing a hundred and forty pounds dropping on anyone could cause some serious damage. 

Im … um… not really hurt.”

If hes not hurt, what is he carrying on about? And thats when the shock of my current position hits me like a punch in the gut. Im lying on top of Jamie!

I hurry to move my knee to the ground so I can slide off him, but I miss the mark—and wind up kneeing him right in the fellas.

Stop!” he yells. Youre going to turn me into a eunuch.”

Im trying to get off of you.”

But instead of pushing me away to facilitate our separation, he pulls me closer so that Im lying along his entire length. He puts one arm around me and rolls us both so that Im under him. Sweet Peter at the pearly gates, my entire body wakes up with an electric awareness. This is a delicious torture.

Jamie …” His name escapes my mouth like the last gasp of air before I shed my mortal coil for more heavenly pursuits. Although if there are more heavenly pursuits than this, I cant imagine them. 

Shh …” He doesnt move to get up, he just lies on me, wreaking havoc with my senses. 

I move my gaze to his face. He looks like hes in pure agony. Jamie,” I try again. 

My God, woman, cant you be quiet for a minute?” 

Suddenly my bones feel like theyre starting to melt. Why is he so mad? Then the truth hits me. Jamie is turned on by our current situation and hes trying to calm himself down. Which of course ignites a fire in me. 

The most gorgeous man Ive probably ever seen is lying on top of me, and hes totally affected by the situation. I squirm underneath him which causes him to groan again. Please stop moving.”

Why?” I practically purr. Are you uncomfortable?”

Im currently in a world of agony,” he growls. 

I dont know what comes over me, but I take that as an invitation. I move my arms up along his sides until theyre free. Then I cup either side of his face and raise my mouth to meet his. 

The feeling of our lips touching defies description. Its pure pleasure, its torment, its a coming home like Ive never experienced before. Every nerve ending in my body is alive and tingling. My heart is beating in overdrive. I have not kissed a man in nearly a year, and I do not remember it being anything like this all-consuming inferno.

Hes definitely kissing me back, which makes it even more surprising when he rolls off me and demands, What was that all about?”




“Im afraid I didnt enjoy our kiss,” Jamie says. Well, thats rude. “But thats probably only because my knee was hurting so badly.” Oh.

I dont throw myself at men as a rule,” I tell him sheepishly.

Then why was I so lucky?” I cant tell if hes serious or teasing me. I try to take a step back, but Jamie wont release me. Oh no, Melissa,” he says. You arent going to get away before you know what it’s like to really kiss me.”

I forget to breathe as his mouth descends upon mine. Our lips reunite in a burst of longing. Jamie quickly turns me so that my back is up against the wall. He takes a step closer until theres no space between us. As his hands begin to move along my sides, he deepens the kiss and once again groans like hes hurt. 

I suppress the urge to keep kissing him long enough to ask, Is it your knee again?”

Not my knee … Its you … You are doing this to me.” He stops talking and takes our kiss to a new level of torture. 

I dont know how long were connected, five minutes, an hour, three months? All I know is that its the most spectacular thing that has ever happened to me. Its romance-novel satisfying, which suddenly makes me question every other kiss Ive ever had. 

Im about to declare these feelings out loud, when Jamie suddenly stops. He steps backward, severing all connection between us. 

What are you doing?” I feel like a child whos had her ice cream taken away. 

I was showing you what its like to kiss me when Im not in excruciating pain.” Yet his expression clearly indicates hes still hurting. 

Im not sure how to respond. Thank you?” 

Youre welcome. Now lets see what the rest of this passageway looks like.” He walks away without turning back.

What just happened? Did Jamie declare romantic intentions toward me? Was he just kissing me because I kissed him? Are we going to start dating? I have absolutely no clue whats going on. All I know is that Im not done kissing Sammys dad.


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